For some reason there have been a lot of things popping up in my life about fear and the need to face fear if we are going to move forward in our lives. I don't know about you, but this has been one of my biggest challenges in life. There is a side of me that truly gets stuck in the fear of failure, the fear of disappointing my family, the fear of rejection, and the fear of becoming something I don't want to. That last one is tricky for me... and it's also the crack in the doorway for courage to show up. You see, all those other fears are irrational... They're all in my head, just trying to create doubt and insecurity. They take up my time so that I don't make a plan, create actionable steps, stick to those steps, and move forward towards my vision. It's pretty scary how that can happen so easily to any one of us.
Fear is actually healthy. It's there to protect us in times of trouble. If we really want to dive into fear, it was meant to keep us from dying - like when a saber tooth tiger showed up, our fear made us run (flight) or try to protect ourselves (fight). I will always remember the times that I was truly afraid and how it awakened something in me that I didn't even know existed. Some people call it mama bear, other's attribute it to their bad ass side, or their avatar, but one thing I know is that we all have it. That side of us that says, "oh, I don't think so." It's there, really, I promise.
When I go back to all those fears mentioned above, I have to actually sit with them. I have to visualize the fear and sit with it, and then ask myself, what will I become if I stay afraid?
For some reason, that is when this other side of me quickly shows up and says, "oh, I don't think so." I reflect on all those times when I could have given in to my fears - or worse, allowed myself to stay afraid. How could that possibly have helped me in the long run? I feel like women have a harder time accesses this part of themselves. Maybe I'm wrong about that. My perception is that women walk a very fine line between allowing the things in their immediate reality to take control over their entire future. Maybe there's a patience factor to mention as well. Fear tends to grow like a weed in the garden as I'm growing patience. I think that is part of it. In order for awareness to create action, my courage has to show up in ways that don't necessarily seem courageous.
It takes courage to listen to our body instead of following old habits or the crowd. If the crowd you currently hang with isn't helping you live your best life, it may be time to get a new crowd.
It takes courage to listen to the inner voice that says, "I don't like this." and then do something about it whatever it might be. Sometimes it's just being patient to see how it all plays out, other times it's necessary to ride the wave of change.
It takes courage to fall in love with risk... someone once said to me that the amount of risk you take is in direct proportion to how successful you are in life. hmmm. That is one to soak on.
It take courage to follow your heart. There is no scarier thing in this world than for me to say the hell with it, I'm fully focusing on the artist within me, the guide within me, and nothing else.
It takes courage to be kind - it's way too easy to "just joke" to boost your ego, and/or allow your words to spew out of your mouth like a run away train.
It takes courage to live free. I find this is the hardest one at this point in my life. There is so much comfort in living the pattern that is created by our culture or that of our parents. Finding your own freedom takes discipline, relentless focus, and a desire to keep going no matter what.
With all this courage that is required in my life, I see how it can sometimes be perceived as too much and then becomes fear. I have been known to do some pretty crazy things in my life. I've stood up against systems when they were doing disservice to underserved students. I've stood up to people in power that lost sight of how they could encourage instead of abuse that power. I've been told I have no fear when it comes to working with 1000 lb animals that dwarf me in size - which isn't actually true. My fear keeps me safe, smart, and mindful. I'm ok with stepping into the ring instead of being a spectator all my life. Fear can be looked at in a million ways, but one thing is for sure, we should always keep it close - and sit down with our fear over some tea so that we fully understand where our own fear comes from, how we can flip it over and fuel the courage that is there waiting for us to come out on the other side with a new sense of freedom.
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